Welcome to this cozy space, meant for girls, for women, for all who are inclined toward logical thinking—who like to analyze everything, to dig deep inside themselves, to look for answers to their internal questions. This is a place for all those who are not ready to just drift along with the current, who ask why? and what for? For those who want to become better with each passing day but cannot find anything real or sincere in the flow of information nowadays.
Interspace
I am sure that there are many of us, though we are invisible in this huge cyberspace we call the internet. Today, in the era of social media, the only people we see are those prepared to live publicly—who are ready to share the details of their private lives, their meals, their hobbies, and their families, and to go live on Instagram and put their every move on display. Sometimes I feel like we are stuck in some interspace. Like we do not belong to this ostentatious world, even though we are trying very hard to become part of it.
It’s probable, on the one hand, that most of us consider ourselves at the home in the workplace, and feel comfortable collaborating closely with the men at work. It’s additionally likely that we’re not very interested in idle talk about celebrities, local gossip, or plastic surgery to enlarge our breasts or lips. Still, on the other hand, it’s unlikely that we want to dissolve ourselves completely in the world of men and profession, because we are women. We would like to be treated—and recognized—as women, and at the same time to be shown respect. We want to fulfill ourselves in all spheres of life—to be successful both professionally and personally, to have a family and a loving partner. We wish to be tender and delicate, to be the keepers of hearth and home, and at the same time to be able to discuss topics like programming, financial instruments, theorems and their proofs, or any other thing that may be technical and involved.
The Pendulum - Femininity
Sometimes it seems unlikely that these opposing realities could ever blend together. So we can often waver back and forth, going to extremes in our reasoning and decision making. For instance, we might start off by thinking that the career we’ve chosen is diminishing our femininity. In response, we begin reading bloggers who we hope will help us revive our true feminine nature and assert ourselves as women again. When that’s not enough, we try fulfilling ourselves through our husbands. We urgently wear skirts and dresses and buy accessories. After a while, we may begin to say: “I am a girl. I do not want to make any decisions. I just want to have a new dress.” Further still, we may start thinking that the years we’ve spent on education were simply discarded—that we could have just become happy wives and mothers, settling down, staying home, giving birth to kids, and cooking dinners.
We read everywhere that we urgently need to find our vocation, an occupation to keep us busy the rest of our lives. Though apparently what is actually meant by this is starting an Instagram page, or creating our own online course. Beyond this, we’re told it is absolutely necessary to leave our jobs at the office, because it is so damaging to our femininity. In a sense, it’s becoming a standard: femininity and creativity are associated with freedom, with the lack of a work schedule, with the act of writing a few articles, with needlework, with the ability to bake and cook.
The Pendulum - Profession
Eventually we realize that this is not true, or at least partially not true. Or perhaps it’s just that we do not have a partner currently, and so cannot make it too far out into the world with these illusions. In any case, after a time we might come to worry urgently that we need to grow in our profession. So we start reading books about programming languages, or taking online courses, or maybe listening to audiobooks about personal efficiency. But this, again, alienates us from our radiant and alluring facade as an enigmatic woman.
The Pendulum - Harmony
We just need to understand one main truth. We do not need to try and change ourselves in order to fit into some world unsuited for us. We need to create our own. We need to take the best from different spheres, to learn everything that stimulates us, and protect our inner world. Because it is unique.
Why does nobody ever discuss how much creativity there can be in writing a computer script, or in proving a theorem, or in generating a report with descriptions of financial models? Why do these not count as creative? Why can’t femininity be combined with a clear daily schedule and an office life? The fact is, it can!
We can be flexible, carefree, feminine, alluring, and at the same time be logical, purposeful, organized, and business-like. We just need to create a fixed plan of what to learn in order to approach this perfect image inside of our minds. We just need to find harmony, that position of the pendulum in which it no longer sways from side to side, and then everything will immediately fall into place.
Here, on my blog, I would like to share with you my plan and the steps that I took (and continue to take) in this direction. Come along on this journey with me!